![]() By sharing your experience, you can let others know that they are not alone. Share your story, message, poem, quote, photo or video of hope, struggle or recovery. It has nothing to do with anyone else - and yet everything to do with them at the same time. This is just a glimpse of what goes through my head in a regular day. ![]() I have bipolar I and borderline personality disorder. It’s a constant battle inside my own head about whether or not I’m worth living another day. A life with borderline personality disorder is not just someone trying to get attention. All day long, until I finally fall asleep in complete exhaustion from constantly going back and forth between happy and completely debilitated by emotion. My life is a series of questions and reactions in my head. They would all be better off without me here. What is wrong with me? They just needed someone to hang out with. If they don’t, I don’t even care! I am done trying. I’m just going to text them about something funny and unrelated and see if they respond. All they want is for me to be around to do things for them. Why do I keep trying to make them happy? They are so terrible. I told them no so now they aren’t going to talk to me until they need me again the next time. They aren’t responding to me now that I told them no anyway. I can’t cook, clean, take care of the kids, hold a job, finish school, be a good wife, etc. It’s a total disaster because I’m a horrible homemaker. You ignore me and then you ask me to just get up and go to the store with you? What kind of person does that? I’m busy today anyway. They want me to go to the store with them. Why can’t I just be normal and get along with everyone! I can’t go on knowing they are mad at me. ![]() Oh my gosh, they didn’t answer my phone call. Wait, I haven’t heard back from them yet. Here I am, bending over backwards for these people and they couldn’t care less! I’m so done with them. I mean, why would anyone be mean to me? How could anyone not like me? I go above and beyond for everyone. They can ask me to do anything and I will do it. They tolerate me because I’m nice to them and I help them if needed. While interior lets the reader know that it is not a dramatic monologue performed for everyone to hear, it is an interior monologue that goes on inside someone’s mind. The latter suggests an unbroken series of lines that contains a character’s words. How could they? I don’t even love myself. The term is made up of two words, interior and monologue. How is today going to go? How are my moods going to be? How are the people in my life going to act towards me today? How am I going to perceive the people in my life who interact with me today? Are they just being nice to me because they want something? Are they being condescending? Are they just pretending to care like everyone else? No one really loves me.
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